मेरा आजीवन कारावास / माझी जन्मठेप (स्वातंत्र्यवीर सावरकर - काले पानी का ऐतिहासिक संस्मरण)

Cornered thus on all sides, life for me and for other political prisoners in that jail
would sometimes become a burden too hard to bear. In order to save them and myself
from suicide, we had hatched up a secret plot among the most trusted and confidential
friends of our group. We had included in that dark conspiracy some of the ordinary
prisoners as well. Whenever we found that there was no hope whatever for this, that, or
the other of the political convicts in that jail, when the last thread of hope had perished,
then these convicts together were to.....
So a day passed, a long, lingering day! The bell tolled announcing the coming of
evening. A day of pining had gone by! Relief, rest, sleep, forgetfulness, and the approach
of release nearer by a day. But release meant death as well. A day that passed was one
day less from the sentence, sure enough. But it was one day less also from the lease of
life. That also kept on haunting the mind.
One of such days. The hour was evening; the bell had rung; and I had made ready
to return to my cell. I locked the oil-depot and had handed over the keys to the jamadar.
Though on ticket, every evening I had to return to my solitary confinement in the
appointed room. I gave the keys and was winding my way to the room for the night. A
warder came up to me and slipped a chit into my palms. He smiled full of joy and hinted
that it was good news. And he went away. I opened the note and I read that an order had
come from Indian Government in the head office of the Commissioner that day that
Savarkar brothers were to be sent back to India. The Government of Bombay had asked
for their recall!
Such news had been brought to me several times before, and had ended there.
And I had remained in the prison all the while. Hence I had never put any faith in these
reports. My friends knew it and, therefore, had added that they had seen the order with
their own eyes, and there was no humbug about it.
The news may be true, for aught I thought to the contrary. For where prisoners
had got their tickets after three years, I had got it after ten, and my ticket brought me no
freedom, but permit to rot in the jail for all time to come. I realised that this farce could
not continue for long and the shamelessness must end. There were only two alternative to
this dirty conduct. Either I must be free in the Andamans; or as the report went, must be
sent back to India. The authorities would prefer any day to take me back to India and put
me in jail there. They would not have me on them as a free man in the Andamans. What I
did not get for the asking, I was to get now from them without asking for it. For this
concession would enable them to detain me in the prison in India after ten years in the
Andamans. And that, in the name of mercy again, as an act of kindness towards me! For
my transportation to India would be hailed by all who did not know the other side of the
matter. They would regard it as an act of grace.