मेरा आजीवन कारावास / माझी जन्मठेप (स्वातंत्र्यवीर सावरकर - काले पानी का ऐतिहासिक संस्मरण)

condition writ large upon my countenance, with heavy and chained shackles upon my
feet, they saw me coming up to them! A pang went to my heart. Four years ago when I
had left them in Bombay to proceed to England for further studies, what glowing picture
they had drawn of my returning home as a full-fledged bar-at-law! They must have
imagined then, that I would come back to them covered with glory, and with prospect of
affluence before them. But today and here, they meet me as a prisoner laden with heavy
shackles and nothing but blank despair before him. My wife was but nineteen years old,
and such a rude shock it must be to her tender heart to see me in this plight. The two were
standing on the other side of the window-bars. They dare not even touch my hand. There
was nearby a strict and relentless guard of strangers to us. The mind was full of thoughts
which would not allow the contact of words to express them. This was going to be the
last meeting between us, and the fifty years that were to follow meant perhaps the
separation of a lifetime. The words of parting were to be uttered in the presence of the
goaler, who was no countryman of ours! He looked at us with eyes that were devoid of
any sympathy for us. The meeting told us, as it were, that we were never to meet again on
this side of life.
These thoughts passed through my mind like clouds in a summer sky, and they
went to my heart to choke it completely. But my will, the sentinel on guard, barred the
door against their entrance, and had instantly dispelled them to the winds. Our eyes had
met and I sat down before her. I asked if she had recognized me. “Only the dress has
changed”, I added with a smile. “I am the same as ever. These clothes protect me well
from the cold weather.” The two outside the window, recovering their good humour
talked to me as if were together in the privacy of our home. The conversation flowed
freely, and, picking up the thread, I assured them that we might meet again if benign
Providence so willed it. Till then, they must think of life, not as mere multiplication of
children, or building of houses, as birds build their nests of straw, but as something
higher and nobler than these things. For the usual kind of life even the crows and kites
live. If life meant dedication and service, then they had already lived it. They had broken
up their home and their fire-hearth along with it. And they had done so, that thousands
may live happily and freely after them. If they thought too much of their personal safety
and comfort, let them remember how plague and pestilence had devastated a hundred
happy homes. Had they not seen newly wedded couples rent asunder by the cruel hand of
death? They must face the inevitable with fortitude. They say here that prisoners are
allowed to take their families to the Andamans after a few years’ term of imprisonment. I
told them that, in that case, I would take them there to establish a home and live happily
in each other’s company. Otherwise, they must prepare themselves to bear it all with
patience, and to live courageously. To which they replied that they would ever try to do
so, and that the brother and sister together could take care of each other. They asked me
to be no more anxious about them; and what they desired was that I should take care of
myself. If that was assured to them, they would get all they wanted. While this talk was
passing between us and some words yet remained unuttered on our lips, the
Superintendent intervened and warned us that our time was up. I stopped it all at once.
My brother-in-law turned to me while he was about to depart, and whispered hurriedly
that I should never fail to repeat the mantra he had given to me. Every morning I was to
repeat the Mantram