मेरा आजीवन कारावास / माझी जन्मठेप (स्वातंत्र्यवीर सावरकर - काले पानी का ऐतिहासिक संस्मरण)

lock-up, he attached the rope and put its noose round his neck, as so many before him had
done and expired.
Trying to hang himself
The watch and ward man detected him in time. Ullas relieved the knot and came
down. That saved his life. The Superintendent, who had used the battery, was on leave
and another had taken his place. He was known to be a fair-minded man. Next clay when
he saw the shreds of the torn garment, he spoke to Ullas words that deprecated the act but
were full of sympathy for him. He said to Ullas, "Though I am an Englishman and a
Government servant here, and though our interests differ, and I cannot approve the deeds
of you, revolutionaries, allow me to say this to you, believing as I do, that you did all for
the freedom of your country and as your duty to her, that you need not blame yourself for
them or censure your own conduct. You are yet very young; you will go back to your
own country after serving your full term here; then why go in for such a cowardly act,
why hang yourself? I know full well the source of all your troubles and your persecution
in this jail. Excessive hard labour has undermined your constitution. But I alone cannot
help you out of it. For as a government servant I cannot countermand the orders of a
superior authority which enforces such hard labour upon you. I must abide by these
orders. But if you feel it a relief and if you will not object to it, I will arrange to remove
you from here to the mental hospital."
To the Lunatic Asylum
And Ullas at once agreed to the proposal. He was then removed to that hospital.
He had his fits, his convulsions, his lock-jaws in that hospital, though he was much better
there, both physically and mentally, than in the place he had left behind. When he,
occasionally, recovered his senses, he felt happy that he was free from the tortures of jail-
life. He was stayed in the lunatic asylum for a total period of 12 to 14 years. After a short
stay in the Andamans, he was removed to Madras and he got his discharge from there
after a period of fourteen years.
Four days after I had heard those heart-rending cries reaching our ears from
Ullas's cell that afternoon, Mr. Barrie came to have a talk with me. It was a rule with me
never to talk with an Officer myself. They came to talk to me and I never hesitated to be
frank in my opinions when I talked to them. Barrie knew this full well and, when
anything extraordinary had happened in the jail, he came to me to know what I thought of
it. That day he came to me full of smiles. Mr. Barrie was so wicked of heart that his
geniality even could not be free from taint.