मेरा आजीवन कारावास / माझी जन्मठेप (स्वातंत्र्यवीर सावरकर - काले पानी का ऐतिहासिक संस्मरण)

outside more fatiguing and humiliating than the labour inside. He had thought he would
get some concessions, but, instead, he found that he had more rigorous work to do in the
settlement. If a prisoner outside happened to fall ill, he was sent to a hospital relatively
better than the hospital in the jail. But if a political prisoner became sick, he was punished
all the more for that sickness. For if he had fever or suffered from loose stools, he was
made to walk the distance of four miles, carrying his own bed, to the jail, and was,
instantly, locked up in his own cell. Indu Bhushan was fed up with it and returned to the
jail of his own accord. Chains were put on his arms and hands, and he was marched on to
his old residence; but he refused to go back to his work in the settlement. He was
punished for this recalcitrance. No sooner was Indu put in his cell than Mr. Barrie came
on the scene. He said, "Well, you have returned! You think, perhaps, that by coming here
you will be spared all work. Nothing of the kind." And turning to the Jamadar he ordered,
"Put him on the oil-mill, and at once." Indu Bhushan was immediately marched off to
work on the 'Kolu.' He was simply disgusted with his own life. I tried my hardest to help
him bear up. I told him to think of me who had fifty years' burden on him to live in this
jail, whereas he had to live there only for ten years. While he was taking his quota of oil
to the Jamadar, I again, met him and could address only a few words of solace. He said,
"No, I cannot bear it; better death than life in such disgrace." That was his constant
refrain. I argued with him, I entreated him, I tried to soften him. I ended, "For the sake of
our country, Oh my brother, we have to sacrifice our self, our life, and even our honour at
times. We owe this duty to her at any cost. You are very young, you are not even twenty-
five, of the same age as myself. You have better hopes to be free and alive than I have.
So, cheer up. Suffer and live, so that, when free, you will serve the country as before."
These words were exchanged in a hurry and on the sly. Two or four days passed off.
Every evening I saw Indu Bhushan returning from the 'Kolu', dead tired, with drops of
perspiration on his face, the chaff of the coconut clinging like saw-dust to his body from
top to toe, chains clanging on his feet, a weight of about 30 lbs. on his head, and a sack of
chaff on his shoulders. I saw him coming up bent down under this weight, and staggering
to the place. All of us were in the same plight. One fine morning as our doors were
unlocked for the day and we were all coming out, a warder approached us and, requesting
not to disclose his name, broke the news that

Indu had hanged himself last night.

I was astounded by the news. Only yesterday evening I had seen him a man in the
prime of youth before he went into his cell for the night. I had exchanged a few words
with him. And in the morning he was found dangling from the top window, hanged by a
noose made of his torn clothes ! His neck broken, his tongue lolling out, his feet
dangling, his throat strangulated by a cord whose one end lay tied to the bar of the
window, and corpse suspending from it in the mid-air. The young man must have found
life too burdensome, for the loss of his self-respect, to bear and to endure. Dark deep
shadow had spread over the whole building. Once in two months we had found such
incident happening. But Indu Bhushan was the first political prisoner of his kind to put an
end to his life thus. I was saying to myself, "Who knows, one day your fate will be the